tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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