Me. At least after what I've been through.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
