6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
you will always have a special place in my vag
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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