I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
