He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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