More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
