From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
