no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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