HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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