is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize