Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
