whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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