if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Randomize
