woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
