She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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