Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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