is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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