i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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