yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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