WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
