There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
handjob tips. give me some.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize