hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
