so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
