I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
