You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
