I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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