I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
