You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
