Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
false alarm, still single
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
