this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
