At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
