Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
