I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
She bit a glass in half.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
