He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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