...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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