I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
