Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
