He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
