She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
