I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
