They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
