your thong is hanging out like whoa
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
