Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
