Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
