so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
