rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
