ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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