I heard we made out
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
so much tequila, so little girl.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
