What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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