You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
