There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
