I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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