Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
