Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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