She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
