Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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