you guys were way drunker than both of me
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
