The maid of honor just puked.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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